An Open Letter to Myself

This is my first real post in almost six months.  I won't delude myself into thinking that my multitudes of fans lost countless nights of sleep over my half year absence.  I assume you all supplemented your diets by rereading my past entries, stifling yours sobs in the sleeves of your favorite "sad day sweatshirts," before drinking yourselves into alcohol induced comas.

...

Obviously, I jest.  So, rather than attempting to resurrect what was never a booming fan base anyway, I'd like to take this time to get back in touch with the one person who actually suffered from this hiatus...

Dear Morgan,

First and foremost, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that I didn't force you over the hurtle when you stopped feeling any creative drive last spring.  I'm sorry that I allowed you to get bogged down in your insecurities, and I regret that I ever let you believe that your talents weren't worth the pursuit.

The truth is, Morgan, I'm still scared.  I'm still insecure.  I still put on horizontal striped shirts on a regular basis, look in a mirror, and then talk myself out of leaving the house in them.  But here's the rub.  I love being creative.  I miss it.  I've been craving an outlet, and though this blog was right in front of me, the very first link on my favorites menu, I neglected it.  I neglected it because the longer I avoided my right brain, the more afraid I was that when I finally did try again, I would be out of practice, and I wouldn't know how to make anything good anymore.

It's time to move past my fear of inadequacy.  As Stuart Smalley once said:

If Michael Jordan can do it, so can I.

So Morgan, let's get one thing straight.  Even if no one else reads it or cares, you're going to hit post when you finish writing this entry.  Then you're going to turn off your computer, go to rehearsal and act the crap out of the first role you've undertaken in two years.  Because you're a damn good actress, and you love doing it. Do you hear me?  You love doing it.

And put that striped shirt back on.  You don't look fat.

Love always,
Morgan